Photography. Dew on plant.

Everything in our world, even a drop of dew, is a microcosm of the universe.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Kampar park bridge. Oxford area.

"It is up to us if we are prisoner of our past or guardians of our future, It is after all, OUR BRIDGE to cross." -Anonymous

Bridge close to my housing area.

Swettenham Pier Cruise Terminal, Penang. Close up pic.

Everything is in the middle of a great, unseen flow. I don't know if you'd call it the universe, or the world, or whatever. Looking at it as this huge thing. Al, you and I are like ants. One small part within the flow. Nothing more than on fraction of the whole. But putting all those small "ones" together allows the "all" to exist... 
-Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist.

A quote that pops up in my mind while taking this pic. (Yep, huge FMA fan here)
In Penang while visiting  the logos hope ship.

Spiral Staircase from below

Ipoh trip, spiral stairways at Taman Reakreasi Gunung Lang.

"Life is a journey up a spiral staircase, we cover the ground we have covered before, but higher."
-William Butler Yeats

Looking up, I wonder what the future above holds and what would I think looking back at my younger self.(Lots of face palming perhaps...)

I tried. I tried lying to myself that everything is fine. Tried lying to myself that I am happy. Tried becoming someone who I am not. Put up a shell so no one notices.
Every single fucking day I wake up pretending I am happy. I smiled at people. I told them about good things in life. But seriously, I want to die.
I am not me. This culture don't really accept who I am really inside. All my "friends" are products of me faking it out.
I can't say things that I really want.
Nothing makes sense.
Nothing at all.
Afraid and confused most of the time.
Been left so many times.
Isolated, feels like no one connects with me at all.
Went to church, came back dissapointed.
I've become someone I'm ashamed of.
This is not me.
Just a withdrawn shell.
Dead inside.
Only things keeping me alive are my parents.
I guess when they die I'll just end this pain huh?

Hiking photos: Batu Ferringhi hill

There is no wi-fi in the forest but I promise you, you will find a better connection.

Checking Out Old Facebook Messages...

So today was just another day hermit-crabbing in my room at my parent's house, scouring the mystical land of Internet, amusing myself. Then I decided to look through my old Facebook messages.

 Oh Boy did i cringe, I cringe so much that I have to stand up and breathe to loosen up my face, even that was not enough, I have to take short walks in the house to get a grip.

Was that really me?

I was the most retarded, self-centered, ignorant, stupid, obnoxious, egocentric, shallow, oblivious, piece of little shit.

Due to the shock I had I couldn't quite believe it, I went to check for other traces of me, to prove myself I'm not that bad as a person. There's still good in me. So I went and read through my old blog posts, I nearly fainted, there it is, all written down in words, proof I was nothing but this large piece of spoiled brat meat walking around the face of Earth. Trash of mankind. The reason why my generation sucked...

I was a total jerk. I mean like, why would I wanna do that man??? Just whyyy??

I have never met someone who's so selfish and so oblivious to other people's feelings. Who lacks a sense of empathy to such an extent. Who have no respect towards anyone at all. I had an issue man. Mom and Dad why you no notice.

There were people who loved and cared for me and I broke promises, hurt them, not thinking for a second how they must've felt. Disappoint them. Who the hell did I think I was man???The world have given me so much and what I did was fart in front of its face.

So now here I am silently sending mental apologies to those who I have hurt, cuz texting is just, you know... weird.. given five years have passed. Anyway I truly hope that I would never have to be like that again, I really hope I won't slip back into that "jerk" phase again, I've got a feeling I have a tendency to do so, even when I don't want to. Must be the family "jerk" genes I guess.