I tried. I tried lying to myself that everything is fine. Tried lying to myself that I am happy. Tried becoming someone who I am not. Put up a shell so no one notices.
Every single fucking day I wake up pretending I am happy. I smiled at people. I told them about good things in life. But seriously, I want to die.
I am not me. This culture don't really accept who I am really inside. All my "friends" are products of me faking it out.
I can't say things that I really want.
Nothing makes sense.
Nothing at all.
Afraid and confused most of the time.
Been left so many times.
Isolated, feels like no one connects with me at all.
Went to church, came back dissapointed.
I've become someone I'm ashamed of.
This is not me.
Just a withdrawn shell.
Dead inside.
Only things keeping me alive are my parents.
I guess when they die I'll just end this pain huh?