How to stop feeling anxious before a trip

Your mind is racing with thoughts of everything that can go wrong.


So you’re at your desk, few days before your supposedly planned trip, pondering about things. You’re wondering, what if it isn’t going to be as enjoyable as expected? What if the printed train tickets aren’t accepted? Was every necessities packed?  These thoughts leads to, maybe I should just call it off, cancel the trip, no harm done eh?

The feeling of excitement is still in there, but it is easily overshadowed by all the irrational anxieties.
Even experienced travelers feel worried before a trip, it is after all putting oneself into an unfamiliar land and that can be pretty stressful. However, once the anxieties have been overcome, what’s to follow is nothing but pure satisfaction and fulfillment.

So here are some ways to help yourself and defeat anxiety before it takes control of you.


1. IMAGINATION IS YOUR FOUNDATION FOR YOUR VACATION
It basically means, desensitize yourself. The problem you’re facing now is fear. You’re afraid that things could go wrong, you can’t accept it when things go wrong, because by then it’s all headaches and there’s the possibility that you lose control over the situation.
Imagine hard, imagine yourself being in the situation, think of every worst case scenario out there, and imagine yourself solving it. If it can’t be solved, imagine yourself being okay with it. Being okay with your holiday not being perfect, being okay with not having control. At the end of the day, you’ll probably feel braver and under the circumstances where things DO go wrong, you’re prepared.

2. DO YOUR RESEARCH
Now this I don’t have to tell you.
Not knowing things can be a big contributor to anxious thoughts. Making detailed research prior to your trip can let you get a glimpse of what to expect and also cut down time fumbling around maps and figuring out things when you’re already at the destination, so you could enjoy more of the place.
Also, make sure that your information are from multiple sources instead of one, sometimes information from a source could be misleading or outdated, so be sure you keep a look out for that. There’s this one time where I walked for about 40 minutes to a destination to find that I can’t find it, so I wasted more time trying to find it only to realize it actually closed down.
So yea, updated resources, very important.

3. LIST DOWN YOUR FEARS
In a situation like this, you are basically fighting with your anxieties, your anxiety have become your enemy, and what better way to defeat your enemy than to understand them?
So take a pen and paper, think hard about what you are afraid of, what’s triggering all those fears? Why is it bothering you? Is it the fear of getting lost? The fear of talking to strangers? Fear of flying???
When an understanding of your anxieties has taken shape, the only thing that follows are the solutions.

4. HAVE A SUPPORT
Having someone trusty to contact and take updates about your whereabouts and activities is a great mind ease-r, you can always rely on them during an event where things go wrong. You know that you’re not alone and someone will have your back and that can bring some sense of relief.


So there’s that. These are the ways that I use myself whenever I feel anxious before a trip. I would just sit down and imagine(STEP 1), go on the web and look stuff up about my trip(STEP 2), if I still feel pretty nervous I’ll try to figure out what on Earth am I afraid of (STEP 3), and then I’ll tell someone, just casually inform someone where I will be during my trip(STEP 4), just in case I get abducted at least the police would have a lead on where to look for me first (Scoffs).
Now I know having anxiety can be quite difficult when it comes to travelling, every single instinct in you is telling you danger is coming if you set foot out of your comfort zone, it’ll tell you to bail out, it’s not worth it and so on. But trust me; take effort to overcome it, because by the end of the day, it’ll be worth it.

I hope this helps.
Alas, have a nice life :).

Rejection: Ways to Regain Control of Your Emotions and Move Forward

As someone who has faced rejection all my life, perhaps even more than anybody else, it is pretty normal to feel that I’m not worth anything. But over the years I have accepted the fact that rejection is part of me, it is also prove that, at least I’m doing something with life.

 Let’s demonstrate how bad my rate of rejection is: If I were to send out a hundred and fifty proposals, it is considered that I’m on a good roll when I’ve got one reply. So there’s that.

 It happens to all of us, at all stages in life. Children can be rejected by other children to join their playgroup, teenagers can be turned down by their crush that they so badly yearned for, desperate fresh graduates has been rejected again and again by different companies, ambitious workers did not qualify for the life changing promotion that could potentially improve his and his whole family’s life… and the list goes on.

 I have developed ways and methods that reminds me to keep moving forward, that it is OK to not be as good as others and I am going to share it to whoever needs it here. These steps isn’t going to help you get accepted or improve your life by leaps and bounds, but I hope it does provide some comfort and motivation to keep doing what you do and not linger on your failures too much. 

 STEP 1: MELLOW DOWN YOUR HOPES

I’m not telling you to not have hope at all, no no that is not what I meant.

 It’s just that, if you look at it, the reason why you even feel disappointment when you are faced with rejection is because you expected something, you had a mental image of what you wanted and when it does not happen, feelings of inadequacy and disappointment are bound to follow. 

 The higher you put your hopes up,  the harsher your fall is. 

 So just relax, imagine the worst case scenario and imagine yourself being okay with it. When you do not climb so high up the ladder of hope, the lesser  it will hurt when you fall. 

STEP 2: UNDERSTAND IT IS NOT THE END 

Well perhaps it is the end of one route, but life isn’t just about one route if you get what I mean.

 It is easy to just focus on the negatives in life when something bad happens, but please do remember to not gravitate your thoughts around the rejections. Life still goes on, that one time (or multiple times) of rejection does not define who you are, you will still wake up another day(that is of course, given you still have access for basic necessity such as food water shelter… heck you’re on the net you probably do), you’re going to do more things in life. The next step is a suggestion to achieve pulling yourself away from the deep dark negativity that consumes you. 

STEP 3: THINK OF POSSIBLE ALTERNATIVE WAYS

 Use your brain. We are beings capable of thoughts and planning. Don’t delve too much in emotions. This is a very important point, in my opinion. And pretty much self explanatory. 

 You’re basically digging yourself out; it enables you to find your own light. 

 Imagine the paralyzing and down feeling you get from rejection is like being buried alive. Wherever you see you are greeted with pitch black darkness. It is quite easy to lose hope and just, you know, give up. It is after all sooo much easier to give up. 

Thinking of other possible alternative ways is like making tunnels with your mind, a tunnel that can potentially get you back to the surface. At least you are moving on, at least you are not giving up. And as long as you do something, even when it does not succeed and you might possibly be facing more dead ends(rejections), you have a chance of finding your way out, and having a chance is better than having no chance at all if you ask me. 

STEP 4: SET YOURSELF A RULE 

Allow yourself to mope around, but only for one day. You are allowed to feel sorry for yourself, you are allowed to mope around feeling sad and depressed, you are allowed to binge on a series while eating chips and being completely unproductive, but only for a day.

You are only allowed to do that for a day, after that, break time’s over, go back to Step 3. 

 STEP 5: MOTIVATION LIES WITHIN YOUR MEMORIES 

Try to remember all the previous achievements you had in your life. No achievements are too small to think about. You have probably been proud of yourself in one or many points in life. Think about it. Bask in that feeling for awhile. 

 It helps you think that life is not all down and moody, it reminds you that you are a human being capable of achievements, as long as you try and do something. 

Imagine if you did not try, you would probably not achieve anything right? So there’s that, your motivation lies in your memories. 

 STEP 6: FIND SUPPORT 

 Find support from friends or families, listen to their stories. 

For me, I find this one of the most powerful method to make me feel in tune with the world again. To listen to real people tell their stories, people who you are close with, who will be honest with you about how they feel and how they got out of it. 

Here are some tips from my mom gave me.

 Oh I have faced with many rejection when I was young, it is very normal. Life is made out of yes and no s, it is very common, so don’t worry about it. Of course, you will feel doooowwnn and saaad, but I always tell myself, it is alright! Perhaps I will get something even better in the future. Know your worth, just try, it is their loss not mine if they do not accept me that’s what I thought.

 I suppose that’s it. I hope you all benefited from what I have shared. I am still facing a barrage of rejections as I speak, hopefully you all can relate to that and feel a certain connection and not feel that alone.

 Oh, and here’s a cute picture of a cat to cheer you up! 

 Alas, have a nice life.