Rejection: Ways to Regain Control of Your Emotions and Move Forward

As someone who has faced rejection all my life, perhaps even more than anybody else, it is pretty normal to feel that I’m not worth anything. But over the years I have accepted the fact that rejection is part of me, it is also prove that, at least I’m doing something with life.

 Let’s demonstrate how bad my rate of rejection is: If I were to send out a hundred and fifty proposals, it is considered that I’m on a good roll when I’ve got one reply. So there’s that.

 It happens to all of us, at all stages in life. Children can be rejected by other children to join their playgroup, teenagers can be turned down by their crush that they so badly yearned for, desperate fresh graduates has been rejected again and again by different companies, ambitious workers did not qualify for the life changing promotion that could potentially improve his and his whole family’s life… and the list goes on.

 I have developed ways and methods that reminds me to keep moving forward, that it is OK to not be as good as others and I am going to share it to whoever needs it here. These steps isn’t going to help you get accepted or improve your life by leaps and bounds, but I hope it does provide some comfort and motivation to keep doing what you do and not linger on your failures too much. 

 STEP 1: MELLOW DOWN YOUR HOPES

I’m not telling you to not have hope at all, no no that is not what I meant.

 It’s just that, if you look at it, the reason why you even feel disappointment when you are faced with rejection is because you expected something, you had a mental image of what you wanted and when it does not happen, feelings of inadequacy and disappointment are bound to follow. 

 The higher you put your hopes up,  the harsher your fall is. 

 So just relax, imagine the worst case scenario and imagine yourself being okay with it. When you do not climb so high up the ladder of hope, the lesser  it will hurt when you fall. 

STEP 2: UNDERSTAND IT IS NOT THE END 

Well perhaps it is the end of one route, but life isn’t just about one route if you get what I mean.

 It is easy to just focus on the negatives in life when something bad happens, but please do remember to not gravitate your thoughts around the rejections. Life still goes on, that one time (or multiple times) of rejection does not define who you are, you will still wake up another day(that is of course, given you still have access for basic necessity such as food water shelter… heck you’re on the net you probably do), you’re going to do more things in life. The next step is a suggestion to achieve pulling yourself away from the deep dark negativity that consumes you. 

STEP 3: THINK OF POSSIBLE ALTERNATIVE WAYS

 Use your brain. We are beings capable of thoughts and planning. Don’t delve too much in emotions. This is a very important point, in my opinion. And pretty much self explanatory. 

 You’re basically digging yourself out; it enables you to find your own light. 

 Imagine the paralyzing and down feeling you get from rejection is like being buried alive. Wherever you see you are greeted with pitch black darkness. It is quite easy to lose hope and just, you know, give up. It is after all sooo much easier to give up. 

Thinking of other possible alternative ways is like making tunnels with your mind, a tunnel that can potentially get you back to the surface. At least you are moving on, at least you are not giving up. And as long as you do something, even when it does not succeed and you might possibly be facing more dead ends(rejections), you have a chance of finding your way out, and having a chance is better than having no chance at all if you ask me. 

STEP 4: SET YOURSELF A RULE 

Allow yourself to mope around, but only for one day. You are allowed to feel sorry for yourself, you are allowed to mope around feeling sad and depressed, you are allowed to binge on a series while eating chips and being completely unproductive, but only for a day.

You are only allowed to do that for a day, after that, break time’s over, go back to Step 3. 

 STEP 5: MOTIVATION LIES WITHIN YOUR MEMORIES 

Try to remember all the previous achievements you had in your life. No achievements are too small to think about. You have probably been proud of yourself in one or many points in life. Think about it. Bask in that feeling for awhile. 

 It helps you think that life is not all down and moody, it reminds you that you are a human being capable of achievements, as long as you try and do something. 

Imagine if you did not try, you would probably not achieve anything right? So there’s that, your motivation lies in your memories. 

 STEP 6: FIND SUPPORT 

 Find support from friends or families, listen to their stories. 

For me, I find this one of the most powerful method to make me feel in tune with the world again. To listen to real people tell their stories, people who you are close with, who will be honest with you about how they feel and how they got out of it. 

Here are some tips from my mom gave me.

 Oh I have faced with many rejection when I was young, it is very normal. Life is made out of yes and no s, it is very common, so don’t worry about it. Of course, you will feel doooowwnn and saaad, but I always tell myself, it is alright! Perhaps I will get something even better in the future. Know your worth, just try, it is their loss not mine if they do not accept me that’s what I thought.

 I suppose that’s it. I hope you all benefited from what I have shared. I am still facing a barrage of rejections as I speak, hopefully you all can relate to that and feel a certain connection and not feel that alone.

 Oh, and here’s a cute picture of a cat to cheer you up! 

 Alas, have a nice life.